From the oven

During the days which I am sick of cleaning up the place, I switch instead to things which I love. Baking. 

Well, this is something which I had grew to liking only this year, as I hated the cleaning up from baking, unlike cooking. Anyhow, sister Grace had bought this big bag of bread flour from Costco. So I guess I had to bake something out from it, seeing no one does any baking here. 

Baking bread was always something I fear, for I knew how bread will turn out if not done properly. Rock hard, dry, dense and some can be so tough that it can bounce! haha. Still had vague memories of my mum baking bread back in Singapore. Oh how unfortunate lucky honoured to be the guinea pigs to tough rock hard saussage rolls. LOL. Using yeast in baking was always something of a mystery to me. How much yeast to add, how long do I leave the dough to proof, how to make the bread soft.... 

These were all questions which I had. And last of all, the kneading. I hate having stickiness mess all over my fingers!

Eric bought a bread making machine last year when we were in Canberra. That was after having the privilege of having homemade fresh bread during our honeymoon at one of the destination. And ever since then, we missed the taste of freshly toasted bread in the morning. But making bread on our own is not easy. It does not meant that you now just chuck everything into the bread maker, wait 3 hrs and Tada! you have a bread. 

Nonono. *wave finger*

So many mornings we woke up in the cold morning frost in Canberra, only to find out that the dough was not properly mixed or that the dough did not rise, or it had over proofed and  sticks onto the lid. The worst disaster was when Eric miscalculated the measurement for making a raisin toast. Ended up the dough proof too high, blocking the nut drop box, where the raisins were kept. And so the raisins could not drop into the dough and it melted all around the box when it baked. >_<

So this year, I wanted to learn from the Masters!

And I went to Mr Google again. And I'm happy to have found a good teacher. Her blog is HappyHomeBaking.

Here's what I've started making:

Homemade Char Siew Bao (baked)

My little babies baking in the oven.

 All ready to cool down on the rack.
Sorry no pictures of the inside, as it was all gone in minutes! >_<

Another of my favourite. Cinnamon Scrolls!
YUMMM.

 Cinnamon + sugar+ butter = YUMMY!

 I've always wanted to bake a loaf bread.
As the recipes allows me to make a nice soft textured bread, I've decided to venture out into making something of a loaf shape. Can last longer too. haha.

My Macha Redbean loaf.

 It's green! I used the left over Red bean from ages ago. It turns out good. =)

The problem with baking soft fluffy bread, was time. It takes 4 hrs from starting to end. Needing to proof a few times for an hr at times each. There was a few times I had to stay up late at night to wait for the bread to finish baking and then leave it out to cool before wrapping it in a tea towel. The winter cold is not helping too, as it will take longer for the dough to proof. So I had set up a warm spot in the oven to proof my dough. And there were so many times I had silly-ly walk way while re-heating the oven, only to forgot the time and had to run rush back and turn off the oven, open the door, cool the dough out... so as not to kill the yeast. >_<

Thank you Happy home baking for the wonderful recipes. Now a days, I'll go to her blog to look at recipes to bake. =)

Can't wait for more yummy bread for breakfast!

kcan

Mushroom flower??

Now, I had always wanted to re-pot the strawberries plant which MIL had grown. Reason being it was in a big foam box which had degraded overtime. It had became so brittle that if you tried to move it, it will just break apart. Like all the other junk around the strawberry box, it just lies on the floor, making the wide path from the laundry looks dirty (from the soil that spills out and Possum's dropping all around) and cluttered.

Anyhow, I had noticing for a month or so, mushroom growing in and among the strawberries! 

White round mushrooms. Then recently, I realised something strange happening to the mushrooms.

I thought there was a Spiderman's disc (it's RED and BLUE!) that flew across the fence from the neighbour's house which landed in the strawberry box. But on a closer look, it was growing FROM the mushroom! *shock*

It looks really creepy I tell you. It looks as if the mushroom had 'exploded'. 

Eric had no idea that mushroom will 'flower' either. So off to the Mr Google we search. We were worried that it is a new species that 'evolved' from this dirty place. haha 

Finally after many days of search..... We found the answer! It was not easy k! Cause when ever we typed Mushroom n Flower into the search engine, we came to the results that says: Mushroom don't flower. 

LOL. Yesh, of course I knew! I was a biology student. >_<

Anyhow, I decided to look through the Fungi images in Google and I found a match!

Star fungi they are called, or Aseroe Rubra. 

Apparently, they are a little like the giant flower Rafflesia! It gaves out this rotten smell to attract animals and insects to come and disperse it's spores but it is poisonous.

**interesting... Because there had been a signifant decrease in Possums activities around that area lately**

I'm contemplating into whether or not to throw away this whole box of strawberries as I don't think the star fungi is doing good to the strawberries because of the poison it had. Maybe I should wait till I get some off-cuts that survives before throwing the whole box away. 

Wonder what other weird things I can find in this garden. 

kcan

Finally finishing the 1 year bible

I am guilty of not reading the bible regularly. Well, do everyone really do that everyday?

Anyhow, I am really please with myself for finally finish reading the bible which my God father Robert had given me on my baptism. That's.... 24 Feb 2008.  *hehe*

Yesh, it took me 5 years and 3 months for me to finish it. lol.
So that means I had read through all the books in the bible too! Woohoo!

There are still a lot to learn. Pray that I will have the perseverance to continue learn and understand God's words.

kcan

Vacuuming

Just a little rant here after doing the vacuum of the whole house.

OMG, I found some unknown poos at the corner of the shelf at the foyer. *YUCKS!* The poos are quite big, oh my...I wonder how big the 'thing' is. >_<

The depressive feeling sinks in again as I had to go through the 3 levels, dragging my vacuum cleaner all along the floor surfaces, taking off and plugging in to a new socket as I went, going around piles of junks still sitting on the floor, emptied the dust from the vacuum cleaner twice. I wonder when will these all goes away.

It often amazed me how much these place will collect dust and dirt. It had not been cleaned for two weeks. The previous cleaning was done by Eric's sis, after days of 'asking' her to help out in housework.

I called Eric to settle my depressive and frustration. He always give me encouraging words, but sometimes, I felt that these were just so superficial. You thank me for doing the cleaning, however, I AM the only one doing the cleaning of the house. If you really want me to do the cleaning, give me the authority and I will CLEAN up all the junk in the house, all the moulds and all the dirty yellow papers that is stuck away in all corners n holes. But no, I had to cover my eyes over the many filth and it is FRUSTRATING !

I really want to go move out. I don't care about this place. Yet I had to slave away here. Not even paid!
While people who belong to this place, the rightful owners, left it in such a filthy condition and expect me to tolerate it. I really wonder why this family behaves like this.

SIANZ...

kcan

Temperature

Eric and I had started going out for afternoon walks recently in bid to help me with the depressive feelings being stayed at home and also to help walk off the tummy he had gain since our marriage. (hahaha)

It's a surprisingly nice walk around the neighbourhood. Many houses of various designs and streets where it looks like a complete rain-forest like. It was interesting to note that despite our wandering around without maps/GPS, we will always be able to get to the main street eventually. haha.

Think I caught a cold while exposed to the cold wind yesterday on the walk. Had a headache and temperature when preparing dinner. Thought I'll sleep it off, and it did! But when I was up preparing Eric for uni, the temperature seems to be rising again.

So, tell me, am I considered having a temperature when the readings from my left year is different to that of the right?
*shrugs*

Guess I shall get ready to head off for bible study when am I still feeling good.
Need to get some grocery too!

Better not be late.

kcan

Re-location

Relocation was an annual ritual for the last 3 years. During my 3 years in Canberra, I had to moved every year. Only this last time, was to move out from Canberra to Sydney.

That move was tiring. It took us 3 whole days plus weeks leading up to that doing the packing and cleaning.
We hired a 3 tonne truck on the Saturday. Filled it up to the brim with the help of 3 of our friends and we only left Canberra at 10pm. Slowly drove up to Sydney, took plenty of power naps and finally reaching at 4am. Unload the next day (Sunday) with the help of his good mate. It just took 4 hrs to unload. So not fair.
We set off real early on Monday again from Sydney to Canberra to return the truck and also to give the house a good clean up before handling the key back in the afternoon. Got the carpets vacuum, drawers, toilets cleaned, kitchen wiped down and pack the rest of bits n pieces which are still lying around. We filled up our two cars to the brim. Really, Literally. The only mirror that was usable during the long drive to Sydney was the right mirror. (not that it was any useful at night)  Everything was finally done at 10pm AGAIN. We had a nice dinner at the famous Maccas just across the road from our place. Our final n last meal. haha.

We had since unpacked 50% of the things we brought here. It was a painfully slow process. Not that there were not enough space, but... well, how about say that we met some restrictions.

Asking if I had settled down here...
Surface-ly, I'd say yes.
Deep down, Hell NO.

Since moving and settling down since January 2013, I had developed depression.
That was also one reason why I now choose to let out my feelings here, instead of keeping it all in myself. Because there was no place for me here.
Everymonth, there would be days where I'll just break down into uncontrolled sadness and tears, feeling lonely, angry and frustrated.

Lonely, because I had no one whom I can call a real friend whom I can talk to at hand n be here to be with. This place where I am staying, is like a prison. I am not able to venture out, for I'll get lost in the unfamiliar streets. The only place I am able to drive with confident to, is the suburb where I get groceries and attend church. Sydney is just too big for me to handle. The new members of the so called 'family' whom I am living with now, had issues which I find so difficult to handle. It could be peaceful like a calm river, or a battle of survival like at a war zone. And often, I feel so alienated in these chaos, that I wonder why I was here at the first place.

Caring for the aging MIL was a chore. It was a chore because she is developing signs of psychological issues, such as hoarding and mental loss. And with these, came anger and frustration as we tried cleaning up the filth of the house where we now together lived in. The state of the house was appalling when we moved in. The house was decent sized I mind you. Triple story with plenty of rooms and living space and even a outdoor pool. Maybe a little too much space you'd say, for a person who had a hoarding issue.

The whole house was filled with junk.
Junks from boxes of old text books belonging to my husband and his siblings back in their Primary school days, boxes of clothes from they were babies, magazines subscriptions of way back when and some were still in their original untouched wrapper. The collection could even be better than the archives in the museums.   Heaps of used envelopes collections in boxes, bags of big pile of shopping plastic bags (some annoyingly stored in biodegradable plastic bags), piles of take away containers, news papers and other paper junks.
Dirty old rags which lined the floor with bags of other clean rags still storing in the cupboard....
Worse of all, the place was so unkempt  that the floors of the house was layered by a thick layered of dust n grit, that one cannot bear to walk barefooted. A clean pathway lines the area where people most walked (which is the middle of the path). Every 5 steps on the stairs, I had to empty my vacuum cleaner. The carpets had not been cleaned for the past 10 yrs.
Couches, coffee tables, cupboard doors, pictures frame, doors and frames and even the wall, were covered in mould. How can one live in such filth?
I am angry and frustrated at the laziness of the occupants and the attitude I had to dealt with. Everything, from the free news papers, the rags on the floor, plastic shopping bags with holes in them to the wilted flower that hangs on the vase had a sentimental value. And it had to 'stay' in the house.

To date, we had chuck out 180 kg of paper materials to the recycling during our first dump trip Plus 3/4 of that same thing on the 2nd trip PLUS 80kg AGAIN on the last trip. GOOD BYE old mouldy yellow BOOKS N MAGAZINES N NEWSPAPERS AND BOXES!
Behold, this was only the tip of the ice-berg. And it was only successful after many arguments plus some form of threatening.

However, I am slowly loosing the battle.
The 4 months of mental and physical stress had a bad impact on my physical and mental health.
I can no longer tolerate and stay calm, looking at the pile of junk n useless stuff. Now it just... stays...

I don't have a say. The hoarding tendency is too strong among the family. Even if it's something useless, like the big plate of molded dried petals. They are not able to just...let go. I think I had to learn too, to just... let go.

I could not wait to move out from this place. I have little corners in the house, where I have my little spaces to clear my head and keep up the lives here.

So, please do pray for me. Pray that I will be able to stay sane in this insane place. Pray that I will keep my patience and kindness to the people I had to dealt with daily in such close proximity. Pray that with the strength of Jesus, I will continue to keep in faith and never loose hope of the Hope that is to come.

And also, please do pray for Eric as he struggles with me and uni work. Pray that he will be loving and understanding.

kcan.

1st post~!

Wow! My 2nd blog! ^_^
(or maybe the 3rd, as my first blog provider decided to close down)

Anyhow, thank you all that had followed my blog since the early days. Please continue to drop by and say HI! To all the new visitors, thank you for visiting and hope that you'll invite me to share in your lives too!

I had decided to start this new blog because it coincides with  many new changes that were happening around us.
I'm now a wife to Eric. Stay at home chef. Full time cleaner, de-clutterer, and organiser. Part-time clinic set up planner. And lastly, a hobby gardener.
We had recently moved up from the freezing-clean-quiet-capital Canberra, where we had met, married and lived for the past 3 years, to the big-congested-polluted-mountainous Sydney. 
It was a big change and we would be hopefully here for another 4 years while my dear hubby finish studying  his 4th degree.

This blog shall be a snapshot of our lives here in Sydney. And hopefully, you will not only be the first to share our tears, downs and frustration, but also be the first to share our joy, laughter and excitement.

There are a few back dated post which I'll try posting up in the coming weeks. Hopefully they will be a good snapshots of my life so far in Sydney.

I thank God for the opportunity and blessings that came our way and those yet to come.

Gd night!
kcan